As the relationships involved in family businesses work on so many levels – business partners, work colleagues, and family members – it can be difficult to separate them out and be pragmatic in your approach.

Running a family business may bring to mind the likes of Dallas, or perhaps Steptoe & Son, but no matter which end of the scale you are at, emotions can get in the way of the company’s best interests.

Thankfully, for the larger family businesses in the world, there are people who are prepared to help out with the difficult decisions that might otherwise tear the family - and the company - apart.

Some private banks and specialist institutions offer advice to family businesses to help them make the most of their resources, both personal and financial, and they can even help you come to terms with problems, such as having a family member who is not pulling their weight within the company.

Hakan Hilstrom an advisor to Stanhope Capital, has seen the difficulties of running a successful family business from both sides of the fence. His own family ran a small but successful shipping business in Sweden, which he was a part of. When he was 30 years old, there was a conflict between his father and his eldest brother, which he became involved in, and it meant that he no longer wanted to be a part of the company.

He moved with his wife and three young sons to Geneva, where he eventually set up as an advisor to family businesses to help them avoid the same pitfalls that his own family business had suffered.

Mr Hilstrom said: “I realised that many family businesses have the same problems that we had. One problem was a lack of rules, and we did not have a shareholders’ agreement either. These are fundamental things you need to have in place in a family company, and in hindsight it is easy to see.”

As the relationships involved in family businesses work on so many levels – business partners, work colleagues, and family members – it can be difficult to separate them out and be pragmatic in your approach. For example, trying to discuss business over the dinner table could have detrimental effects on both the family and the business relationship in the end.

Having specific rules that help you to maintain the boundaries correctly prove to be invaluable.

Mr Hilstrom said: “You have to have rules, and if you don’t, then like Zimbabwe, it will break down.”

Mr Hilstrom has so far worked with 26 family businesses from various cultures, and that alone can impact on the advice he is able to give.

He said: “If you are Chinese, then the girls do not count, and in Saudi Arabia it is very similar. In the UK or Scandinavia, both sexes are treated equally, but in the Middle East, the eldest boys get more.

“I am currently working with three families in Turkey. We have started to establish what their issues are and what we need to address. We need to establish what the family’s contribution is, and create a shareholders’ agreement – both are very important. Then you have to look at the overall objective of the family – there could be five, 10 or 15 individuals involved, and it is difficult to integrate every family member.”

Usually, Mr Hilstrom recommends that there are no more than 10-12 shareholders in a family business, as above this level getting everyone to make a conclusive and constructive decision can be difficult.

Where life can be made particularly tricky, said Mr Hilstrom, is when you have a member of the family who is not really capable of being a key decision maker, or understanding the intricate running of the business, but they want to be involved.

In such cases, he would consider whether they could be placed in a position in the background, where they will have less influence, but will still generate an income and feel a part of the company. It is, clearly, a delicate operation as emotions are going to run high.

However, if families are expecting conflict and have plans in place to help them cope when it arises, it can make life easier. Even though it is a sensible idea, some families are reluctant to accept there is a need.

Mark Evans, head of family business and philanthropy at Coutts, said: “One of the key challenges as an advisor is getting family businesses to prepare to manage conflicts. It could be driven by different family members having different aspirations inside or outside the business. Or, it could be that they want to be bought out, or benefit from dividends from shares.

“A lot of family businesses encourage their members to take time outside the family business before jumping in. They may be expected to take a position somewhere else and spend a number of years getting experience outside of the family-run entity. But family firms handle it in different ways.”

Coutts runs a series of forums for family businesses to help them understand the challenges they face, because as Mr Evans said: “There is not necessarily a right or wrong answer.”

In many cases, family businesses will expect their own kin to be better at their given or chosen job than someone else in the company, as it may be felt necessary that they are seen to have their job out of merit, rather than nepotism.

However, both Mr Hilstrom and Mr Evans stressed that one of the most important things is for the family to communicate with each other.

Mr Evans said: “In some family business, the business discussions take place in the family - rather than the business - forum. That is where things can get more complicated. But the most successful businesses will have meetings where everyone can be heard and issues can be aired. What is going right or wrong in the business, what people want out of the business, what do they want out of life – it gives people an opportunity to listen to each other.

“If the family does not feel it can air these issues alone, they can bring in an outside facilitator to help them make these decisions.”

Paying for these services may not be cheap – Mr Hilstrom said that he will give clients a quote depending on the size of the business and what needs addressing, which could be anything from £20,000 to £80,000 or more. But in the long run, having a viable business is likely to be worth an awful lot more.